MAGA for the Middle East
The loudest voices declaring that Trump’s second term would mark the official beginning of fascism in America come from academic creatures. Ordinary people do not care much about things like fascism, communism, or any other -ism. As polls show, Trump’s popularity among those ordinary people who voted for him has not declined, and if anything, it has increased.
-Isms remain trapped in universities until the moment ordinary people encounter them at their own doorstep. If it were any other way, European Jews would have fled long before Nazi officers arrived in their neighborhoods to separate them from the rest. People only recognize the wolf when its teeth have already sunk into their flesh.
Therefore, right now, we can only discuss this wave of fascism with American academic creatures who see it as an existential threat to the United States. Though we don’t have much to discuss with them anyway, we can ask a simple question:
Isn’t this American fascism that you claim is on the rise a product of Christian nationalism? Aren’t you the ones saying that radical Christianity is resurging and threatening to undo a century of civil progress, women’s rights, minority rights, and the separation of church and state? Isn’t this religious extremism meddling in your government and determining your rights the very same thing that you are terrified of?
Then why do you advocate for the exact same thing in our Middle Eastern nations?
What’s the difference between a radical Christian who insists that women belong in the kitchen, raising children and serving their husbands, and a radical Muslim who preaches the same? Why do you find such rules acceptable for the Middle East and justify it by word-vomiting in journal articles or performing mental acrobatics in your institutions to convince the rest of your people that misogyny is part of our “culture” and should be respected? Why is it that whenever efforts (foreign or domestic) emerge to pressure or remove these regimes, you rush to demand reconciliation and “peace”? How is it that when facing radical Christians in your own country, you stand against them as if you’re waging ideological jihad, yet for radical Muslims in the Middle East, you only propose that the oppressed should reconcile with their oppressors?
Why do you recognize the flag of the radical Islamists like Al-Julani or the Taliban, who seized power in Middle Eastern countries, as the official national flag, yet a single pickup truck with a Confederate sticker is enough for you to declare a Christian Nazi fascist threat? Why is anyone wearing a red MAGA cap labeled a fascist, yet you proudly wear the keffiyeh, which, despite its historic significance to us, in recent decades has been nothing but the emblem of the extremists and terrorists who oppress Middle Eastern societies? Why did you raise Hamas and Hezbollah flags in Western cities and universities when Israel attacked Gaza in response to October 7th? And if you didn’t personally raise them, why did you stay silent while others did?
Why is a Christian Hamas a terrifying threat to you, yet an Islamic Hamas a heroic resistance for Palestinians?
Why should Middle Easterners look at your university campuses, conference halls, and classrooms only to see open support for the very people who take pleasure in tormenting them?
You call Trump Hitler for ideologies like insisting that child rapists should be executed. Yet you are so blinded by your racism of low expectations that you advocate for Middle Eastern rulers who give medals to child rapists, and don’t even recognize child marriage as an issue.
What exactly is your problem with us Middle Easterners? – Afshin Azad and Yusof RuyanFar
Chosen Refugees
Gazans: Wallah we are all martyrs for Quds (Jerusalem). If Quds isn’t under our rule, we shall all sacrifice our lives to take it. But for now, if you don’t mind, please allow us to leave our “homeland” so we can survive.
West and Arabs: Of course not! We didn’t spend billions of dollars on anti-Zionist propaganda just for you to pack up and leave!
Gazans: So are we considered refugees or not?
West and Arabs: Yes, you are. And you must return to your indigenous homes.
Gazans: Well, according to UN regulations, aren’t refugees supposed to be granted asylum in other countries, like, maybe, in your countries?
West and Arabs: Not in that sense, no. You’re not refugees in that way.
Gazans: But if we stay here, we’ll be killed. Whether quickly or gradually. You know, the whole genocide and famine tales?
West and Arabs: Do not worry! We’ll spend a few billion more on anti-Zionist propaganda so they won’t dare to kill you, inshallah.
Gazans: How about you just give us those billions, and we’ll go settle somewhere else to live?
West and Arabs: Absolutely not! We will never allow you to go to another country. How dare you abandon your home, Felestin?
Gazans: Then at least let’s sell Gaza to Trump and get some stability this way.
West and Arabs: We will never let it seem like someone like Trump has won.
Gazans: Then send your own forces to govern Gaza so that there’s no more conflict with Israel.
West and Arabs: No. Gaza must be ruled by you, the people of Gaza. Have you forgotten that your sole purpose in life is to die for the liberation of Quds? Astaghfirullah!
Gazans: But we don’t want to rule this place! Have you forgotten all the opportunities and resources we had to build it? Instead, we focused on terrorism and producing high-quality Paliwood victimization specials for Western radicals to justify their antisemitism!
West and Arabs: Too bad. Speaking of Paliwood, shut the fuck up and go back to filming your kids and weaponizing them. Yalla! Let’s free Palestine!
– Afshin Azad and Yusof Ruyanfar
God’s People
Anti-Americanism, both within the U.S. and abroad, is no longer a political stance. It’s a pastime. They use an imaginary America as a measuring stick, and then mock the real America for failing to meet impossible expectations: “Oh wow, you couldn’t even defeat all the forces of nature and Zeus himself? What happened to all that talk about being the most powerful country in the world?”
When a polar blizzard hits, the kind that would economically collapse entire countries, they say, “Oh wow, why did your electricity go out for two days?”
When a wildfire spreads at a scale that would prompt days of national mourning elsewhere due to human casualties alone, they sneer, “Oh wow, why don’t you have enough fire trucks?”
The same logistical systems that keep the U.S. economy running under all that snow, and the same infrastructure battling the fires, should serve as a masterclass for these Anti-American enthusiasts who prepare for nothing and blame fate when disaster strikes. These are the same people who, instead of addressing their failures, simply say, “It was written for us,” or “there was nothing we could do”
Losers need hobbies like this to cope with their own inadequacies. And within a religious framework, these are exactly the kinds of people that God dislikes. God favors those who take action, who move forward. Like the Israelis.
On the morning of October 7, the losers laughed at Israel, predicting it would be gone in months. And yet, today, nothing remains of the so-called Axis of Resistance. And this happened despite Israel making mistake after mistake, miscalculation after miscalculation, and its cautionary approach to minimize Palestinian deaths that prolonged the war.
God overlooks incompetence easily. What matters to him is movement, so he can bless it (This line plays on the Persian saying: از تو حرکت، از خدا برکت—’From you, movement; from God, blessing (barkat).’). The dismantling of the Axis of Resistance wasn’t just the work of a handful of intelligent officers. It was the result of barakah granted to those who dared to act, even if they were full of faults.
A loser’s life can be neat and error-free, but it will never be blessed.
Now, what if you, like most of us, don’t buy into religious frameworks?
It doesn’t change a thing. Anyone can reach the conclusion that it’s simply better not to be a loser. That barakah—or whatever you want to call it—will always come from a place you never expected. You can figure out who or what sent it later – Sohrab Asemaanparast