The list
As the world’s largest “state” sponsor of terrorism, with its currency among the least valuable globally and over eighty percent of its population living below the poverty line, the Islamic Republic in Iran allocates around twenty percent of its annual budget to its military. The remainder is funneled into various organizations, institutions, foundations, committees, and associations to further spread propaganda, embezzle money, micro-manage every aspect of life through its totalitarian approach, and destroy the lives of Iranians—and, in the near future, the world. Western countries have increasingly engaged with the Islamic Republic’s terrorists by bending over for their “hostage diplomacy,” with the United States offering 6 billion dollars in exchange for five American hostages and Sweden exchanging a convicted Iranian war criminal for a Swedish national. With the growing worldwide support for Islamic Republic-funded terrorist militant groups like Hamas, this future might be closer than you think.
Here’s a short, comical (yet real) list of other places where the Islamic Republic likes to spend its terror-earned money. The list will have new entries in every edition of The Navid
Secretariat of Cultural Adaptation, Modesty, and Hijab, Cultural Deputy of the Ministry of Health (Persian: دبیرخانه انطباق فرهنگی، عفاف، و حجاب معاونت فرهنگی وزارت بهداشت)
For when you’re having a heart attack and all the nurses are under suspension because their scarves slipped a little while doing their jobs.
National Headquarters for “Narrating” Progress (Persian: ستاد ملی روایت پیشرفت)
Narrating the “progress” of a turban-wearing donkey dancing in a shithole.
Organization for the Development and Promotion of Sacred Defense Culture in Cyberspace (Persian: سازمان توسعه و ترویج فرهنگ دفاع مقدس در فضای مجازی)
Bots are too advanced for the Islamic Republic idiots. They rely on their own human cyber minions.
Supreme Council of Dates (Persian: شورای عالی خرما)
Not the kind of date you’re thinking of (that’s illegal), but the kind that grows on trees. Every little thing has a “Supreme Council” for the same reasons the regime has a “Supreme Leader,” and the reasons aren’t very good.
This edition of The List focuses on how the largest terror state in the world steals our (Iranians’) money to fund terrorists in Gaza, spread propaganda to gather support for them, and celebrate their acts of terrorism:
Permanent Secretariat of the International Conference in Support of the Palestinian Intifada (Persian: دبیرخانهٔ دائمی کنفرانس بینالمللی حمایت از انتفاضهٔ فلسطین)
Supreme Council for Supporting the Islamic Revolution of the Palestinians (Persian: شورای عالی حمایت از انقلاب اسلامی مردم فلسطین)
Central Intifada and Quds (Jerusalem) Headquarters (Persian: ستاد مرکزی انتفاضه و قدس)
Intifada and International Quds Day Headquarters (Persian: ستاد انتفاضه و روز جهانی قدس)
Coordination Headquarters for Quds Day March (Persian: ستاد هماهنگی راهپیمایی روز قدس)
Committee of the Special Section for celebrating the “Al-Aqsa Storm” (October 7th Massacre) at the National Exhibition of Visual Arts of Islamic Sacrifice (Persian: بخش ویژه طوفان الاقصی (جنایت هفتم اکتبر) در نمایشگاه ملی هنرهای تجسمی ایثار)
Presidential Committee for Supporting the Islamic Revolution of the People of Palestine (Persian: کمیته حمایت از انقلاب اسلامی مردم فلسطین نهاد ریاست جمهوری)
Supreme Council of Humor (Persian: شورای عالی طنز)
For the mullahs and their sympathizers in Western countries to sit back and laugh at the pain and misery of the people of Iran after allocating dozens of councils and organizations to support terrorism and antisemitism while the Iranian people are denied fundamental human rights and are struggling to survive.
Operations Support Room for the Axis of Resistance at the Islamic Propaganda Organization, established on October 2, 2024 (Persian: اتاق عملیات پشتیبانی شبکه مقاومت در سازمان تبلیغات اسلامی، تاسیس شده در تاریخ ۱۱ مهر ۱۴۰۳)
Hezbollah terrorists blowing up by the pager attacks and Nasrallah’s elimination terrified and discombobulated the mullahs. So, they decided to set up a new useless organization and funnel more of our stolen money towards their addictions to opioids and death.
Cultural Headquarters for “Jihad of Clarification” (Persian: قرارگاه فرهنگی “جهاد تبیین”)
This term was coined by Khamenei and, like any other type of Jihad, yields nothing but destruction. Here’s a hint: when your keffiyeh-donning classmates barf up a word salad about resistance in Gaza and try gaslighting you into supporting terrorists, they’re engaging in the Jihad of Clarification. Give them a Masha Allah!
Headquarters for Fulfilling the Slogan (Persian: ستاد تحقق شعار)
The Slogan is set yearly by Khamenei. Despite the thick budget allocated to a headquarters for fulfilling it, the mullahs are so idiotic and incompetent that they always fail.
Headquarters for the Protection of Psychological Security (Persian: ستاد صیانت از امنیت روانی)
For when you accidently access or share uncensored and unbiased opinions/news, and need to be reminded that, as an Iranian, you’re a hostage in your own country.
Headquarters for Promoting Prayer (Persian: ستاد اقامه نماز)
Headquarters for Promoting Friday Prayer (Persian: ستاد اقامه نماز جمعه)
Headquarters for the Development and Promotion of Prayer in Universities (a separate headquarters for each university) (Persian: ستاد توسعه و ترویج اقامه نماز در دانشگاه)
Policy-Making Council for Friday Prayer (Persian: شورای سیاستگذاری نماز جمعه)
Specialized Prayer Center under the Supervision of the Headquarters for Promoting Prayer (Persian: مرکز تخصصی نماز زیر مجموعه ستاد اقامه نماز)
Prayer Invitation Research Group under the Specialized Prayer Center under the Supervision of the Headquarters for Promoting Prayer (Persian: گروه پژوهشی دعوت به نماز زیر مجموعه مرکز تخصصی نماز زیر مجموعه ستاد اقامه نماز)
“Hijab Rehabilitation Clinic”, initiated by the Head of the Women’s Department of the “Headquarters for the Promotion of Morality and Prevention of Vice” on November 16, 2024 (Persian: کلینیک ترک بیحجابی، ۲۶ آبان ۱۴۰۳)
With a proposed budget of around $60 million USD (2550 billion Rials, converted with governmental exchange rate), this “clinic” was previously also proposed under the name “Social Beautifying Clinic”
Headquarters for the Promotion of Morality and Prevention of Vice (similar to the Morality Police) (Persian: ستاد امر به معروف و نهی از منکر)
Headquarters for the Revival of the Promotion of Morality and the Prevention of Vice (Persian: ستاد احیای امر به معروف و نهی از منکر)
Central Headquarters for the Allah’s Holy Day 13th of Aban (AKA National Student Day) (Anniversary of the U.S. Embassy Takeover and the 1979 Hostage Crisis) (Persian: ستاد مرکزی یوم الله ۱۳ آبان)On this day in November 2024 in Iran,16-year-old Arezo Khavari committed suicide after she was expelled from school for wearing jeans and violating hijab law.
This edition is longer than usual, but this isn’t even half of the “Supreme Council” list.- Supreme Council of Atomic Energy (Persian: شورای عالی انرژی اتمی)
- Supreme Council for the Development of Atomic Energy (Persian: شورای عالی توسعه انرژی اتمی)
- Supreme Council of Health (Persian: شورای عالی بهداشت)
- Supreme Council of Health (this one is a synonym of the same word, and they both get a separate budget) (Persian: شورای عالی سلامت)
- Supreme Executive Council of Health (Persian: شورای عالی اجرایی بهداشت)
- Supreme Council of Welfare and Social Security (Persian: شورای عالی رفاه و تامین اجتماعی)
- Supreme Council of Social Security (Persian: شورای عالی تأمین اجتماعی)
- Supreme Council of Intelligence and Tourism (Persian: شورای عالی اطلاعات و جهانگردی)
- Supreme Council of Domestic and International Tourism (Persian: شورای عالی ایرانگردی و جهانگردی)
- Supreme Council of Planning (Persian: شورای عالی برنامهریزی)
- Supreme Council of Informing (Persian: شورای عالی اطلاعرسانی)
- Supreme Council of Soil (Persian: شورای عالی خاک)
- Supreme Council of Steel (Persian: شورای عالی فولاد)
- Supreme Council of Standards (Persian: شورای عالی استاندارد)
- Supreme Council of Accidents (Persian: شورای عالی تصادفات)
- Supreme Council of Insurance (Persian: شورای عالی بیمه)
- Supreme Council of Registration (Persian: شورای عالی ثبت)
- Supreme Council of Supervision and Inspection (Persian: شورای عالی نظارت و بازرسی)
- Supreme Council of Mines (Persian: شورای عالی معادن)
- Supreme Council of Quran (Persian: شورای عالی قرآن)
- Supreme Council of Cyberspace (Under sanctions for violation of human rights) (Persian: شوراي عالي فضاي مجازي)
- Supreme Council of Cyberspace Information Security (Persian: شوراي عالي امنيت فضاي تبادل اطلاعات)
- Supreme Council of the National Organization for the Study and Compilation of Humanities Textbooks (Persian: شوراي عالي سازمان ملي مطالعه و تدوين کتب علوم انساني)
- Supreme Council for Economic Alignment of the Heads of Governmental Branches (Persian: شورای عالی هماهنگی اقتصادی سران قوا)
- Supreme Council of Producers (Persian: شورای عالی تهیهکنندگان)
- Supreme Council of Islamic Seminaries (Persian: شورای عالی حوزههای علمیه)
- Supreme Council of Islamic Revolutionary Plans (Persian: شورای عالی طرحهای انقلاب)
- Supreme Council of [Islamic] Cultural Revolution (Persian: شورای عالی انقلاب فرهنگی)
- Supreme Council of the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (Persian: شورای عالی سپاه)
- Supreme Council of National Security, Human Rights Headquarters (Persian: ستاد حقوق بشر شورای عالی امنیت ملی)